Hellraiser: Hellworld on my DVD

I've never seen one of the older Hellraiser movies, but I've heard great things about them, they are said to be scary fucking movies that flip your shit through the whole sit, and when you see that face full of pins, diarrhea shit comes out of your anus, yeah, that's what I've been told, scary movies, besides, they are based on Clive Barker's characters, and god I loved his work on "Undying" (yeah, that's a game, but it's great!). I've always wanted to get to see them, but I've never found them... until a couple of days, I saw a divine ray of light come down from heaven as the voice of a thousand angels said: "turn thine eyes" and I saw it, Hellraiser: Hellworld on a counter... yes...

I bought the DVD, happy that I was going to see one of the Hellraisers at last, besides. I was curious about that online thing... what's so online about pinhead?... and what's up with that image? does this take place into the matrix? is he the new enemy of Neo or what the fuck?

Well... this movie is a steaming gigantic grotesque bloody pile of shit!! If I where pinhead, I'd stick my head inside the ass of the people that shot this film! I'd be ashamed of this film! what a shit-load of fuck! If this was supposed to be a scary movie, than I was supposed
to turn into a porcupine when I turned 13 and become the leader of a religion wich worships used tampons!

I'll try not to give away the whole plot. The idea is that hellworld is an online videogame just like Starcraft, Diablo or Ragnarok (though you always see an absurd red screen and no play is seen or explained...), then this one guy kills himself or gets killed or what the fuck because of the game and his friends are like sad and we should have helped him before death shit. then they are invited to a hellworld party (Yes, this is your typical teenagers in awkward situations and having sex sometimes hollywood no brainer escape to basement instead of the outside movie) and strange things begin to happen. My main complaint is that... this is not what I expected, I haven't seen Hellraiser, but I imagine a very dark atmosphere movie with bloody killings and stuff, but the killings in this movie are not that great and feel a little forced, when you see them, they don't satisfy you at all; besides, Pinhead hardly appears through the whole fucking movie, this movie shouldn't have been called Hellraiser, it should have been "Killing party" or "Stupid fucking teens" or "Fuck me and kill me" or something like that. The ending is fine and twists all the movie, but as anything else, it feels forced, but when you think, this ending is fine, it fucking turns itself into a hopefull romantic happy fucking ending which makes it just more bullshit...

If you want to see it, see it, but I'd recommend you download it somewhere, yeah, it must be on the net, there's always some fucked up asshole who likes to stare into shit...

Guitar hero III-Backstage pass on my mobile phone review

I got this game for my mobile phone a while ago: "Guitar hero III - backstage pass", I had played a lot of guitar emulators before on my phone, such as Guitar hero 3, which is awesome! great selection of songs such as "black magic woman" by Santana or "Monsters" by Matchbook romance (Or matchbox as is labeled all over the net) and other stuff that just makes it awesome, I busted the 4 and 6 keys on my phone playing it. Kick ass.

Then is the Gameloft version: Guitar rock tour (or "Guitar legend get on stage" as you can find it, it just has some little changes), another awesome game!, whenever I remember this game, I hear "Banquet" by Bloc party playing on my head; good animations, good songs, I crapped when I saw "Run to the hills" there, great! the songs are complete when you play on free mode, the "story" mode runs smooth and using five keys instead of the usual three was an interesting great idea, a little hard first but when you get the rhythm, it just kicks ass.

Also found another one: "Guitar hero world tour"; I'm a big fan of this kind of games, this one is good, not a lot of different things from guitar hero 3, just animations are a little shittier, good game... but it's fucking hard, I'm not that bad of a player nor I'm the best, but I busted my fucking ass trying to finish it on medium! fuck is it hard! my thumbs are still aching like shit!

But then it this one, Guitar hero III-bsp; I was wondering, what's so backstage about it? I popped the fucker in and fuck man... this game is fucking shit!! You play in the idea that you are trying to be a band, good idea, busting your ass up the charts was great, more emulation of a band sounds good; you have to rehearse your songs and as you rehearse you can play in bars, stadiums, festivals and all that, you have a "fame" counter, also a "buzz" and a "cred" one wich you increase as you play on stages or on the streets, that was awesome, more realistic, the songs are cool and the animations are smooth.

But... what so shitty about this? didn't I say it was shit? am I fucking insane or what?... here's the deal... this fucking game slaughtered the guitar hero idea of playing songs! when you give a concert, you get to choose one or five songs to play (I don't know if more, I'm not that far) depending on if the place is a bar or a stadium, when you start playing, you have a target score to achieve, if you don't achieve it, it's ok, but you won't get that famous because of the shitty concert, ok, you play the first song and it ends halfway, yeah, I know it's a common thing, but then, you don't fucking play anymore! then you play this shitty fucking not self explanatory minigames about throwing the guitar or sliding across stage to the spotlight or catching underwear from the crowd, man, what the fuck! I should be playing the other songs I chose! better, I SHOULD BE FUCKING PLAYING GUITAR!!!! NOT CATCHING UNDERWEAR!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!! And if you fuck up the minigames, your score comes down and the concert is shit! so busting your thumbs to get the song right ends up being worthless bullshit!!! And you get other minigames, like: "your fan needs help, play somewhere and score 5 stars" FIVE STARS?! it's fucking hard to get 4! but 5! and if you fuck up and get 4 or less, your fame comes down! what a shit fuck!!

To wrap this up, the game is good on the band emulation thing and the visuals and all that, but I think I should have played more guitar than other thing, anyway it's a Guitar hero, not a "Throw the guitar to the roof hero". The minigames thing (I keep calling them minigames) is good, but it's not well blended in this one. I hope that if a new Guitar hero comes out for the mobile phone, this will be better made.

Thanks for reading my first review, I hope more will come on anything i feel like reviewing.